A bittersweet Reunion

Hosenka was a place Raven found himself returning to often. Not only had he helped Abigail there, but other general problems would crop up there. It was a good place to gather information as well. Many people trying to escape the problems of the world could be found there. And many of them were willing to talk about it if you paid for a few drinks.

As such, he now had a large Jar slung over his shoulder. For those with discerning noses present, there would be a faint scent of alcohol wafting from it. Specifically a slightly more expensive brand of red wine. Though Raven himself hadn’t drank any. He was going to later though.

His training had left him more unkempt over his month away. His hair was almost shoulder length, and he had a more rugged face. Though there was no stubble present. His clothes looked more well worn too, though they were definitely clean. It was later in the day, close to sunset, and he was clad in his leather jacket.

He found a bench in a more secluded out of the way area. He sat down and began snacking on a burger a drunkard offered him in exchange for some chattin time. Raven hadn’t learned anything particularly interesting, but he did get the burger. And he was hungry. And the bacon was delicious.

Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Kotone closed her eyes as she exhaled, the wind picking up around her. Her last visit to Master Sonata had earned her a few pokes to the nose and a lecture about daydreaming instead of practicing her wind magic. So today, Sid was looking on while she manipulated the finer points of wind magic. The control wasn’t nearly as fine as her ice magic. As she opened her eyes, she threw a blade of wind across the formerly empty park. She let out a squeak though, as she realized the bench she’d thrown it over was occupied, moving the air just enough to send it flying past the man on the bench. Or rather, over his shoulder, now with two separate pieces of burger. How had he…?

Kotone blinked a couple of times. “R-Raven?!” she exclaimed as her eyes focused on the scruffy-looking man. He looked different. More… weathered. Of course, she’d grown up a lot during the time after their short stint as adventuring partners, physically and mentally. Her hair was longer, worn down. She’d even grown an inch or two. She had a new tan jacket and was wearing shorts instead of her skirt, though the shorts were quite possibly shorter than her skirts. She also had her katana she’d gained on their last mission together on Galuna, though it certainly looked more weathered.

Sid meowed confirmation that it was, in fact, Raven. Kotone ignored him. “The heck are you doing here?” She asked, not sure if she should be glad to see the dragon slayer or miffed. Tatsu had certainly proven to be a jerk since then. “Didn’t anyone tell you to watch out for girls trying to practice their magic in secluded areas?!”

Magic was on the air. In it in a way that suggested someone was casting magic. When he realized which direction the scent was coming from, he barely had time to move. He had leaned to the side slightly, and felt the magic shift to avoid him. His burger wasn’t so lucky, and fell in two pieces. One in his lap, the other on the ground at his feet. Who had just thrown magic at him?!

A voice was met with a familiar scent. He turned when his name was called to see Kotone. His gaze instantly went flat, remembering how unfun their parting had been. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes as she berated him. Well, some people never changed… He grabbed up the half of his burger that had fallen in his lap and ate it with his eyes closed until she finished.

“I thought frost for brains would have working eyeballs,” He stated dryly as he swallowed the last bite. It was unfortunate that half of it was gone. But it was free food. He was still annoyed that he lost it. It was strange that she had fired wind magic, but he supposed that they could learn more than just their dragon slayer magic. “But, I guess I was wrong. Seems to be a reoccuring theme. I do something I thought was sensible but I’m wrong. What do you want?”

“What do you mean what do I want?! I was here first, you flame spewing…” Kotone cut herself off, putting her fingers on her temples and letting out a sigh. Not this time. She wasn’t going to get goaded into a fight this time. “Nevermind. Look, I’m here a lot,” she told him, still unsure of how she felt seeing him again. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the world’s a busy place lately, and I’ve got to be at the top of my game to keep it from going to Hell in a handbasket.” Raven was here. He was the first person she’d ever spent much time around, and the first to threaten to send her spiraling out of control during her emotional state after being kicked to the curb by Tatsuma.

Flashes of their last encounter crossed her mind. Shouting. Feelings of betrayal. Nothing physical. It was one of the few times she’d not wanted to hit what was upsetting her. The wind blew the ice dragon slayer’s hair, breaking her from her thoughts and the awkward silence after their mutually disagreeable meeting. “Look… it’s been… awhile since everything,” she told him with a slight glare, sticking her hands in her pockets and moving to sit down beside him, her expression become more solemn, but not necessarily unhappy as she stared awkwardly forward, then at him again. “Do you want a replacement meal?” she asked. “The attack was meant for a branch, not your burger.”

“Funny that,” Raven responded dryly. He hadn’t taken her outburst from before as well as he probably should have. Of course, it didn’t help that he had started to try to open up to her before everything blew up. He was destined to work alone, that much was certain. “The world’s in trouble. That’s why I’m back.”

“As for the burger, forget about it,” He stated as he stood up. He slung the wine over his shoulder and pulled out his sunglasses. Setting them on his face so she couldn’t see his eyes. In truth, it was because he didn’t want to face her after last time. He’d never felt bad about following his father’s orders before. Which, for awhile, had torn him up. “It was a freebe I was handed.”

“I’ll leave you to your practice,” He stated coolly as he shoved his hand into his jacket pocket and started walking. His pace was slow, and he likely wouldn’t get more than a couple steps before she stopped him. But he would try anyway. He didn’t want the conflicting feelings to return and distract him from his mission after all. It wasn’t worth it. “The world needs their protectors at their strongest after all. And I don’t feel like being a distraction.”

“…. A lot’s happened since we met last,” Kotone told him, not standing up, but leaning forward as he started to walk off. She let out a sigh, icy frost-like breath leaving her lips as she stood up finally. “I don’t even know where I’d begin. Some of it’s been wonderful, and some of it… look, don’t leave just yet. I didn’t say you had to, you know. Besides, breaks are good too.” Too many breaks to visit certain Lamia Scale members, however… those earned her bonks, which while not painful made her feel like a child and she tried to avoid it.

“You seem different, by the way,” she told him. The vibe she was getting didn’t tell her it was a good thing, necessarily. She wanted to blame it on their current standing relationship, but that wasn’t it… was it? No… there was something deeper. She’d spent enough time with him to feel the difference. In all honesty, she missed her first traveling companion. He’d been the first friend she’d ever lost. “I’m pretty sure it’s not the hair,” she told him, obviously teasing in a fishing kind of way. Her hands left her pockets and crossed under her chest, her head tilted to the side as she appraised him. Was she sure this was Raven? He smelled like him… but the attitude…

“...You made it fairly clear the last time that you wanted nothing more to do with me,” He stated stopping in his tracks. A wonderful time? Sure, she could have those. Maybe she found someone that mellowed her out or something. He didn’t know, and at this point he didn’t really care. Which wasn’t true, but he was forcing himself not to. He didn’t need attachments.

“Nothing’s different,” He shrugged and half turned so she could see his face. There was a smirk present as his hands stayed by his head. He gave a small shake to emphasize how carefree he was trying to act before letting his hands drop back to his sides. “I was simply reminded of what my path is awhile ago, that’s all.”

“That being said,” He countered, keeping his voice even. He was going to make sure to cut off whatever bond they had completely. Her wanting him to stay was proof that she wanted some kind of connection. And he couldn’t have that. He wouldn’t have that. It was a distraction, and only opened him up to get hurt. “If life’s so wonderful, maybe you should stick with it. And while you do that, I’ll do the same thing I’ve been doing all these years.”

Kotone could see through the lie Raven was telling. For some reason, whether he’d been hurt by their last encounter, or whatever it was, he was most certainly not the same Raven as before. She frowned at his back as he turned back around, a combination of bitter cold and wind blasting off of her in a small burst blowing outward past Raven like a winter breeze. He reminded her too much of Tatsuma. “… Tell me you aren’t just like him…” she said in a firm but slightly pleading voice as she glared at the back of his head.

“Tell me you haven’t done the same thing as that moron, Tatsuma!” she demanded, her eyes glowing blue as her increased magical energy released with her temper. Of course, she hadn’t explained anything yet, but that part wasn’t her priority. She was too busy praying it wasn’t true. She’d never traveled with Tatsuma. Breaking ties with him… that had been easy, no matter how hard.

She didn’t know what else to say just yet. What was Raven going to say? Was he going to confirm her accusation? Or would he prove her wrong? She didn’t know if they were still friends. In truth, she wouldn’t mind, but… she didn’t want to actually make an enemy out of him. If he was like Tatsuma and that delusional though… that’s what they would be.

“I don’t know what all Tatsu’s done outside rumors,” Raven shrugged as he felt the icy blast of wind. His own temper flared up slightly, heat radiating off of him as his eyes clearly blazed even through the sunglasses. “But I can assure you I haven’t gone murdering people unless I haven’t had a choice.”

He was past that part. And if he ever found Tatsu, there would be a confrontation, and likely a fight. But that was neither here nor there. Instead, his foe was Kotone. And while it was tempting to rise up to her bait. He simply relaxed his magic. From what little he’d used, he didn’t seem stronger than their initial meeting. But he had done a fair bit to fortify his fighting capabilities if he needed them. So instead he turned away from her again. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need more accusations about how he was living life wrong. Or how he was a liar. He didn’t need any of that mess.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” He stated as he started walking again. “But I don’t want anything to do with it. There’s bigger problems on the table than whatever happened before. So I’m going to go deal with those. I don’t really care what you end up doing. Things will get fixed regardless.”

“Unless you haven’t had a choice,” Kotone repeated bitterly. The weapon she used was as deadly as it was sleek. But she’d never killed anyone with it. She hadn’t killed anyone since her power and skill had grown enough to let her have fine control. She’d been a child, and she wasn’t proud of it, but hearing someone of Raven’s skill admit he might have killed someone didn’t sit right with her.

Raven went off, telling her he didn’t know what she wanted from him, but that he didn’t want anything to do with it or her. There were bigger problems, and he was going to fix him. “Good.” That was the only answer she had. She stood firm, but most certainly wasn’t happy with him. If anything he was hurting her again.

She took a step forward, as if she wanted to walk after him. Not this time though. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want anything to do with their former almost friendship. That was fine. She had other people. She had another dragon slayer she could vent to when she was upset about her father.

Kotone dropped both of her arms to her sides helplessly. “Whether I could admit it or not… we used to be friends…” she told him. “When I saw you on the bench…” she sighed. “Nevermind. Walk away if you want. I’m tired of walking away from people. I'm not the one running away this time.”

He was already struggling to get away. He was already forcing himself to walk away, even though his heart didn’t want him to. Deep down he didn’t want to cast away this chance at bonding with someone. He sorely missed it. But he wouldn’t admit it even to himself. So when she said she wasn’t the one running this time he spun around.

“I thought we were friends too!” He shouted as his temper flared. Barely controlled magic roiled forth from him, the heat emanating out in a much more powerful way than when they’d fought the blood mages on Galuna. His hands were clenched so tight that fingernails dug into flesh, enough so to bleed slightly. “I was trying so hard to not push you away! I… I…!”

And he let out a shout of rage. It wasn’t a dragon roar spell. Just him howling in a mix of rage and despair. When it subsided so did his aura, though it was still clearly present. The wind that kicked up from the sudden change in temperature died down, leaving Raven standing there with slightly slumped shoulders.

“I wanted to open up to you,” He said in a quiet voice. The intensity of his eyes died down, once again becoming veiled by the sunglasses. “I was going to tell you, but then that mess with Tatsu happened. Then we got roped into hunting the blood mages. And then instead of listening to me, you attacked. And because I opened up it hurt a whole hell of a lot worse than if I’d stuck to my principles. And now you want me to just stay like nothing happened.”

“You want to know what happened?” Kotone demanded. Her own temper flared a bit, but it didn’t boil over like it once did. Her irises glowed an icy blue, her own magic bleeding out just a bit. “I was an immature child.” She told him as the energy faded. “We were both emotionally stunted idiots who fought at every moment. I didn’t know how to do anything except fight with you when emotions ran high.”

Her own fists unclenched yet again. “I could have taken you telling me. I didn’t know how to take you telling me after trying so hard to deflect every clue. It felt not like you’d been keeping a secret, but like you’d been keeping it from me.” Kotone’s hair blew a bit in the wind. Her face was stern, but not the fiery ball of anger he knew so well. “Finding out while fighting that demon hurt me more than I knew could still happen. I had to get away for a while. I was never able to track you down again, though. Things have happened. A lot of them. Galuna was… a lifetime ago,” she admitted, letting out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “It wasn’t that I wished to cut you off. It’s that I never was able to reconcile the storm brewing inside of me.”

“I didn’t even deflect things!” He shot back his temper flaring back up again. Though not nearly to the same level it had before. His voice was more strained, as he hadn’t even let out everything he felt when he flared up the first time. Nor did he want to. However, his eyes were starting to burn as he realized what all she was saying. Or at least part of it.

She’d found others to rely on. It was a crippling realization in his head. Far more crippling than he’d have liked.

“You never asked!” He continued, his voice more strained. He shook his head furiously as hands clenched into fists again. “And then you got angry because I didn’t know how to! The biggest secret of my life, kept from everyone whenever possible… I kept that responsibility for so long, Kotone!”

“So long that I wanted… Needed to rely on someone else!” Raven continued as he couldn’t hold back the tears. “I’m not some war hero! I’m not some invincible beacon of hope like I wish I was! I don’t have people to fall back on like you do!”

“Because they’re all GONE!” His aura flared up to where it had before. He didn’t realize how lost he felt, even as he was shouting at Kotone. “They’re all dead or just simply not here! I thought maybe… Just maybe another slayer would be reliable! That maybe I could regain some footing in life! But NO! One’s psychotic, the other angry at me for foolishly following one of the last instructions my father gave me!”

“… I’m not angry at you anymore, Raven,” Kotone responded calmly. She didn’t know how to explain it. She hadn’t wanted others to rely on, but she’d found them, completely without meaning to. Meanwhile, in an inadvertent way, he had looked and found no one. She realized that. He probably did too. “I wasn’t ready,” she told him simply. “I thought I knew so much, but… even after Tatsuma kicked the crap out of me… I didn’t realize exactly who I wanted to be until we fought again. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to be the hero people wanted me to be. So that chest-groping sicko’s like he’d become wouldn’t be all they had to look to when they heard of dragon slayers.”

Kotone looked at the ground rather than Raven, not flinching in the slightest as his temper flared. “I was a poor example of a hero, a dragon slayer, and a person in general. I got lucky that for some reason people saw something in me that I didn’t. You were a jerk, but so was I.” Kotone turned around, her back to Raven so he wouldn’t see the tear starting to run down her cheek. “It never occurred to me that you were as hurt as I was. I’m sorry.” Sorry. That was a word Kotone had never used around Raven. She’d never apologized. She’d always been justified, even when she had been sorry. “If you hate me now… fine. It’s the price I pay for being too blind to appreciate when people tried to look out for me before. I did the same to Roejaster, Taiga, and more.”

She wiped her eyes with her wrist and turned back around. “I found strength I didn’t know I had. It just came later than would have helped us. If you want to hit me, yell at me, anything… don’t let the fact I’m a girl get in the way. I’m a dragon slayer first. I can take a punch if it means Raven not becoming another Kotone.”

As soon as she said sorry, his temper melted away. He stood, shoulders shaking as he fought back emotions and feelings that had been pent up for years. That yearning for companionship that had gone unfulfilled for years was back and fiercer than ever. He let her continue, and only reacted when she finally stopped talking.

The air heated up again as he shouted into the sky. This time there was magic. A lot of magic. Though, there were intense feelings in it that were cast into the sky as he roared. Sorrow. Regret. Pain. Fear. After a long moment it ceased and he was panting for air.

“...I don’t hate you,” Raven said, his voice hoarse from the screaming and venting. Though there was a meekness to it that Kotone hadn’t seen before either. “I never did. Even when you said those things. Even when the door slammed behind you. Even as your scent faded. I was angry… angry and hurt. But there was never hate.”

“I won’t hit you,” He said after a moment and as he turned away. His shuffle held no real purpose or direction. He just started slowly moving. He didn’t know what else to do. “Not after you’ve done the one thing I can’t.”

Kotone was kind of shocked, to be honest. Shocked that Raven actually didn’t hate her. Of course, she’d never wanted him to, but… She’d thought he did. She’d thought she hated him, for a while. Maybe even up until today. She wasn’t actually sure, truth be told. She grinned slightly. He talked about scent more than Kade. He was so much more normal than Kotone and Raven were. It occurred to Kotone that she and Raven were very much like a brother and sister who were always competing to be better. “I don’t think I’ve done anything you can’t, Raven.” She told him, crossing her arms.

“Look…” her gaze softened, “I know a good place to eat in town,” she told him, knowing that the one burger wasn’t actually enough to fill up the fire dragon slayer before her. “I mean it. I can get you something more than half a burger. It’d give us a bit to catch up and see if we still have a chance of being friends,” she reminded him. The pair had always been dysfunctional, but it had worked in an odd way. But Kotone without her anger was almost a different person. She knew the difference as keenly as the people she talked to. Would he still enjoy her company?

She offered him free food and a chance to reconnect. And it was sorely tempting. Even if he was going to leave Hosenka alone, and continue fighting alone. It was so tempting, that his resolve from before melted away. Broken emotionally as he had been from years, having that chance, even if it was fleeting was just too much to resist.

“...Fine…” He said as he wiped the tears from under his sunglasses. He sounded as drained as he looked and felt. If it was anyone else, any other situation… he would have been stubborn and declined. But here he was agreeing. He grabbed up the wine that he somehow didn’t destroy in his fit and slung it over his shoulder. “Lead the way.”

And he would follow in silence, unsure about what to say or do. He didn’t understand his own feelings. He didn’t understand Kotone, the situation, anything. And in his lack of understanding he had nothing to really start a conversation with. He kept the sunglasses on, and attempted to straighten up and compose himself.

But he didn’t know what to do. Before, when they fought, there was an understanding between them. Or so he thought. But now… he wasn’t sure if they had any kind of understanding at all. And that was possibly the most frustrating part for him.

Kotone was willing to lead the way. It was her town, though she hadn’t told him that. She was, in fact, the main reason no one had moved in during Fiore’s (hopefully) temporary state of flux. The humans at the top had decided to shake things up and harm other people for their own goals, and as a result Fiore was more a lawless collection of cities and towns than an actual country. Part of her wondered how long it would be until the bad luck they were having got worse and some other country decided to move in and take the place for their own. She doubted she could do much for them this time If they did.

Eventually, they wordlessly entered the restaurant, where Kotone picked a corner booth and slid in, eyeing Raven like a brother who had called her horrible names last time they’d met, or at least some sort of equivalent. It wasn’t that she was holding grudge. She still had the lingering feelings, but she was trying to help fix it so that Raven didn’t become what she used to be. Plus… at some point she’d been friends with him, even if neither could admit it.

After a long moment of silence and a waitress claiming she’d be with them momentarily, Kotone finally spoke up. “I’m glad you’re here,” she was, in an odd ‘my day is a lot more stressful’ kind of way. “It gives us the chance to talk. Maybe catch up a bit. What’ve you been up to?” she asked him curiously.

When they finally made it to the restaurant he saw the way that she looked at him. And it made him feel worse about the whole situation. Mostly because he had originally wanted to travel with her, and he had screwed that up. She couldn’t because she’d found people to be with. When she spoke he turned his gaze towards her.

“The usual,” He shrugged and glanced to the side. Then he sighed and leaned back. That was the kind of answer that had put them in this situation in the first place. Running a hand through his hair he resisted the urge to sigh in frustration and instead settled for muttering. “That’s the kind of answer that caused this…”

“I spent time trying to help people, like I’d always done,” Raven replied and forced his gaze to stay focused away from her. Instead it stayed out the window as he talked. “But I lost my balance in a way after Galuna island. I started making mistakes, close calls were getting closer and closer. So I went out into the wilderness for some training. I’d hoped to bring some sort of center back into my life.”

“Then, when I stopped in to Kunugi for some basic supplies, like clothes, I found the place infested with bandits and the like,” He continued quietly with a small shrug. “Doing a little asking around I found out about what happened and decided to find out more. I came here since this is a place people go to run from their problems. I thought… I thought I had a handle on everything.”

“Heh, well I’m glad to hear you’re still trying,” Kotone told Raven with a slightly awkward grin. “You kinda sound like me though. I got pretty reckless there for a while. Piece of advice: Don’t be like me,” she chuckled. “It’s bad for relationships.” Of course, she was referring to the her he’d known, not who she was now. They were the same person, but with two vastly different attitudes. Kotone had become a lot more defensive in the way she fought, for one thing. For another, she did her best to minimize mistakes. Her recent fight with Atrum had shown off what that could do, even with her great disadvantage in straight up martial arts verses the giant.

“As for me, I’ve had an interesting time. I’ve made some friends at Lamia Scale. I told you about Kasimir already. He joined them, apparently. A small girl named Ren ended up being ag pretty good friend. She’s a lot better at magic than she looks too. Then there’s Kade, their new Ace,” she told him casually, hoping to make conversation. “I went on a date with him recently. He’s pretty great,” she chuckled. “It’s all pretty different than when we traveled together. Things aren’t really the same anymore, but…” she trailed off. What did she want from him? It was complicated. She missed having him around. Not this Raven, though.

He reminded her too much of herself and what she’d left behind in order to grow up and be a proper dragon slayer. The old Raven, or something close though… she wished they could be friends and get him back. None of her newer friends were exactly ‘heroes’ even if they were great people and good fighters. He was the best she could think of when it came to someone to accompany her on important tasks, really. “I do miss our adventures, even if I don't miss being so angry all the time.”

Raven listened as Kotone made some small talk at first, then explained what she’d been up to. She was in close with Lamia scale, even dating their ace. In a way, this was more crushing than the outburst on Galuna. He had wanted to deepen ties with her, and form some kind of deep relationship with her. That’s what he needed… And that was out of reach now.

“Yeah…” Raven nodded idly fiddling with the silverware. Glasses of water made their way to the table, and he switched to fiddling with that instead. She had a group of people to fall back on… He’d been replaced. Effort he’d spent trying to help her was thrown back in his face. “I miss them too.”

But they wouldn’t happen again. It wasn’t Raven’s right to take a beloved friend and lover from them. And the path he walked would do just that. He’d broken down and reached out for fellowship, only to have it torn away before he could try. “I don’t really have any recent stories that’d be of interest. Not unless you want to hear how the rabbits are getting along in the forests near Kunugi anyway.” He shrugged helplessly and sipped at his water before slowly stirring it.

“And don’t worry, I’m not you,” He said quietly with a shrug. “I’m not out to play hero like you used to. I’m just out to get the job done, just like always.”

“Hey, what do you think I was trying to do?!” Kotone asked a bit heatedly the way Raven worded his last statement. “Whatever… look… “ she sighed. “It’s pretty obvious what you thought of me before, and what you probably still think of me now,” she said, sounding a bit cross. It sounded like he’d looked down on her, or at least like he did now. “So, what, do you think you’re the only one trying to do some good right now, is that it?” She wasn’t actually trying to pick a fight, but the way he talked…

Kotone shook her head, leaning forward. “You really have changed if you’re suddenly talking like that…” she commented, standing up from the booth, but stopping at the edge. “We fought a lot before. I left more than once. That one time you didn’t come after me, I actually walked away. Why didn’t you come after me that time, Raven?” she asked the question she had wanted to ask for a long time. He’d always made up with her after, even if neither of them apologized. It had bugged her ever since when she thought of him, more than not telling her he was a dragon slayer, more than anything else… that they’d so easily walked away.

Raven opened his mouth to defend himself, but then the last question came out of Kotone’s mouth. This made him stop and close his mouth for a moment. He also closed his eyes and looked away from her. “I wanted to. But what would I have gained? I was a liar and a fool in your eyes. What could I have said? What could I have done?”

“The answer is nothing,” He stood up and shook his head slowly. “You needed Lamia scale in the end, not me apparently. Sure, we fought for months off and on. We didn’t know how else to convey how we felt. We were raised to be warriors after all.”

“I thought you were out to look like a hero,” He started walking again. He didn’t care about the food, or the company anymore. He just wanted to go burn off these feelings. He regretted everything. “But your heart was always in the right place.”

“I’m glad you’ve found them,” Raven said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “This fool wouldn’t have been able to help you, as badly as I wanted to. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I wanted to go after you back then. I just didn’t know what to do. And I regret not doing so.”

“What you could have done,” Kotone told Raven, not following. “Is to have proven to a girl who was doubting everything in her life at the time that something she thought was true.” At the time, she’d been going through a lot. Her pride had been irrevocably wounded, and she’d started to wonder about a lot of things, including why she’d been hanging out with someone who she had the strangest need to feel superior to. That much had been true. They were friends, yes, at least in her mind. She just didn’t know how to handle that, or to admit it at the time.

Kotone let out a sigh. “That fool you refer to helped quite a bit, Ash for Brains,” she told him in an annoyed voice. “Between you and Ren I actually figured out how to interact with people without wanting to just skip town and not deal with them. He and that stupid girl traveling with him just didn’t realize that at the time.” She let off a shrug to accompany the sigh, placing a few jewels on the table since she felt bad for letting the woman think she was about to have customers. She turned back to Raven. “If you really plan to leave now… take care of yourself, Raven,” she decided in a softer voice. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to deal with him or not. He wasn’t the Raven she remembered, not by a long shot. But she wasn’t the Kotone he remembered either, and she didn’t know how much that affected how he was acting.

“...I thought I’d made things worse,” He stopped, keeping his back to her. “I reached out trying… And then you got angry and left. I thought I’d tried and failed. Especially with what you said back then. And if I’m honest…?”

“I haven’t changed since then,” He continued in a quiet voice. It was softer, shaky, and carried a lot of nervousness. He didn’t know why it was tumbling out the way it was. So many feelings, no time to decompress or sort them out. And while he had always put on a good show… he was never good at feelings. “I just hid it all. The uncertainty, the fear, my magic’s origin… I hid it all.”

“I was raised to hide things, and help without putting myself out there,” He shifted to look at Kotone. “When you said those things… It shook the very foundation of everything I knew. The things you said there shattered whatever was holding me together.”

“I want to be friends,” He said, clearly struggling to talk at this point. “I want to be close. I want to run away. I want… I don’t know what I want anymore. And to make things worse, I don’t know what’s right anymore. ...You don’t deserve that in your life anymore. Not with Kade and the others waiting for you.”